freedom is found by the things i leave behind so that i may persue Jesus wholeheartedly

grace verus law

i find the whole case regarding the muslim model who was caught drinking and the punishment for it is caning too into my face. here is an obvious case of law / legalism at its peak. scary thing is that the model and her dad feel she deserves the punishment and rather than say thank you God for letting me go, her dad reacted when the law said grace

are we like this? how often the Lord says 'I forgive you, go walk in the freedom of my forgiveness' yet our hearts and head say no.

funny thing is that punishment is not suppose to instil pain but simply to teach us His ways. perhaps the malaysian government decided to show grace cos they feel the people have gotten the message .... yet i cant help but wonder if its all show and tell re her desire to be canned publically and now the government is under pressure! yet, if it were not so and everything is simple and pure, then surely we are like the muslims - no concept of forgiveness and grace! if this were true, then the blood that our Saviour paid for is simple wasted! if we dont want the Saviour to hang on the cross for nothng, surely now its time to take score of our lives and to forgive ourselves and others... i guess the question now is how do we forgive and start walking in the freedom of forgiveness ... Holy Spirit, but by Your grace, please teach us

ps perhaps the next drama should be The Blood That Is Wasted

my second half



first half in geylang was fun! the Lord made it a breeze ... i was this middle class girl who gave up everything to reach out to the people - it was a steal! easy ... then i got tired and maybe distracted and so he brought me to the halfway house to rest. rest i did... while resting, i sometimes would think abt the old (house of prayer) and i would dream abt the moments when i met the Lord there. those days were simpler ... everything was easier. perhaps it was because i was still a child there so the Lord gave me a lot of grace, and mercy!

things have become a bit more complicated now. i started my trip to ihop, kansas in the states. got stuck in japan and at narita airport, the LOrd confronted me. He told me that His plans and strategies are yea and amen so He will see me in the streets (harvest) cos thats where He will encounter me!

i used to ask wl when he thinks the revival would come - his consistent answer (revival is in the heart - fact that you can feel more now means that the revival has started in you) was something i accepted in my head but never in my heart. i was and perhaps still am waiting for the big moment when change is so obvious - the world would say wow Jesus ... i excuse myself that we are different - diff backgrounds, diff genders, just different. but i am beginning to see that wl is perhaps correct ... revival is when we understand what true religion is about. its not in a place but merely, our hearts starting to let go of things that hinders us from loving Jesus completely and to really be like Jesus - to love mercy, to love justice and to walk humbly before the Lord

so has things change - i think not except the 'mountain' experience tht i am looking for called encountering Jesus is perhaps what isaiah 58 would call true religion. and true religion is in the very place i am in ... yet, it comes with a price - its called warring against our giants. yikes

i talked with glory, one of the chinese migrants and it dawn on me that we face the same disappointments and fears ... and like her, i see the grasshoppers as giants - wow, after our prayer time with my friends, suddenly i can believe yet again that my family will get a revival and things will change - actually, this is the first time i am really convinced this can take place - surely God is showing me that He is bigger than i am! His ways are much higher than mine