rights

eric said steph said its the rights of the migrants to fight for more money. frankly, i dont quite care if they shld fight or settle for what they have. steph probably has her own reasons ... yet, my concern is that while we teach them to fight for rights against the government, are we like the hypocrites ... we set up a whole set of rules of do's and dont's just because someone got molested and this is our way of dealing with their deviant behaviour...

is it really our right to punish them? isnt it their right to experience God's grace and mercy ... isnt it their right to be part of my christian community when i see my brother fall, rather than expose him i clothe him with love and say to the rest - throw the first stone only if you have no sin

i dont understand how and why we pity the people outside - is it false compassion? i dont pity them; i pity us! i pity us that we find it ok that such abuses go on and we choose to turn our eyes away ... is it really our right to shame them? the whole community was birthed simply to show them Jesus as the righteous saviour ...

sure molesting someone is wrong - but looking at a lady lustfully is also wrong! sure fighting and stealing is wrong - but teaching them wrong values ie money is the way to be compensated is also wrong cos we have now made money our god - and the Lord says that the love of money is the root of all evil ... the Lord says that greed is idolatry

do we have rights? my right now i guess is that i can speak out for the poor and the oppressed - so to you Jesus i say ... the migrants are not the poor and the oppressed but we are. our spirits are so poor and deceived that we cant see right from wrong anymore. we condone oppression and call it rules. we speak out for the poor through our own human wisdom and call it love. so in Your kindness, discipline us. in Your kindness show us the truth

i desire truth in my inward parts; i desire a place where there is a heart. i desire grace to cover law.

your confused daughter

freedom is found by the things i leave behind so that i may persue Jesus wholeheartedly

grace verus law

i find the whole case regarding the muslim model who was caught drinking and the punishment for it is caning too into my face. here is an obvious case of law / legalism at its peak. scary thing is that the model and her dad feel she deserves the punishment and rather than say thank you God for letting me go, her dad reacted when the law said grace

are we like this? how often the Lord says 'I forgive you, go walk in the freedom of my forgiveness' yet our hearts and head say no.

funny thing is that punishment is not suppose to instil pain but simply to teach us His ways. perhaps the malaysian government decided to show grace cos they feel the people have gotten the message .... yet i cant help but wonder if its all show and tell re her desire to be canned publically and now the government is under pressure! yet, if it were not so and everything is simple and pure, then surely we are like the muslims - no concept of forgiveness and grace! if this were true, then the blood that our Saviour paid for is simple wasted! if we dont want the Saviour to hang on the cross for nothng, surely now its time to take score of our lives and to forgive ourselves and others... i guess the question now is how do we forgive and start walking in the freedom of forgiveness ... Holy Spirit, but by Your grace, please teach us

ps perhaps the next drama should be The Blood That Is Wasted

my second half



first half in geylang was fun! the Lord made it a breeze ... i was this middle class girl who gave up everything to reach out to the people - it was a steal! easy ... then i got tired and maybe distracted and so he brought me to the halfway house to rest. rest i did... while resting, i sometimes would think abt the old (house of prayer) and i would dream abt the moments when i met the Lord there. those days were simpler ... everything was easier. perhaps it was because i was still a child there so the Lord gave me a lot of grace, and mercy!

things have become a bit more complicated now. i started my trip to ihop, kansas in the states. got stuck in japan and at narita airport, the LOrd confronted me. He told me that His plans and strategies are yea and amen so He will see me in the streets (harvest) cos thats where He will encounter me!

i used to ask wl when he thinks the revival would come - his consistent answer (revival is in the heart - fact that you can feel more now means that the revival has started in you) was something i accepted in my head but never in my heart. i was and perhaps still am waiting for the big moment when change is so obvious - the world would say wow Jesus ... i excuse myself that we are different - diff backgrounds, diff genders, just different. but i am beginning to see that wl is perhaps correct ... revival is when we understand what true religion is about. its not in a place but merely, our hearts starting to let go of things that hinders us from loving Jesus completely and to really be like Jesus - to love mercy, to love justice and to walk humbly before the Lord

so has things change - i think not except the 'mountain' experience tht i am looking for called encountering Jesus is perhaps what isaiah 58 would call true religion. and true religion is in the very place i am in ... yet, it comes with a price - its called warring against our giants. yikes

i talked with glory, one of the chinese migrants and it dawn on me that we face the same disappointments and fears ... and like her, i see the grasshoppers as giants - wow, after our prayer time with my friends, suddenly i can believe yet again that my family will get a revival and things will change - actually, this is the first time i am really convinced this can take place - surely God is showing me that He is bigger than i am! His ways are much higher than mine

What's in a Name

The name of the Lord, is a strong and mighty tower ... Strength and might is His name ... No wonder, the only One that I can truly lean on only is this Man they call Yeshua! He is strong ... meaning, He can crush all my enemies ... He can squash all of them to nothingness ... all I need to do is to be faithful and to stand firm so that in due time, I will see His delieverance.... He is so strong that even the biggest enemy is nothing as compared cos He created them ... strange how we are so afraid of them when actually, they mean nothing ... how they can fight with the Creator ... I guess, perhaps I truly need to study a little more on Elohim ... this magnificant God

another death, another post!

hey Jesus, its been so long since i wrote in this blog ... yup, the going has been tough learning how to lean on You ... tough, tough, tough n so not fun .. yet, i cry more now! i think, my heart's starting to become more tenderised too :) so i guess, tht's pretty neat!

Lord, when I die, pls crown me as the one that sought after You relentlessly ... that one that was desperate for You. And while I am still on this earth, please remember me as the beautiful bride that was created for LOVE! pls Lord, dont make me do anything except to love and to be loved... I think everything else is too tough for me (this too actually, but this at least inspires)

btw Lord, its really weird cos I found out yesterday that frank teo passed on - i guess he died doing what's closest in his heart - missions! after all that been said and done, i live for one thing which is still that i would love Jesus with my whole being and others with compassion cos of that ...

hey lord, show me your face and let me know your heart - stop playing hard to get ... cos it sure doesnt work with me ... it just makes me weary and tired and ... sigh, is this what love is abt ... i dont think so ... cos its too frustrating for me ... but cos i am a girl who has decided that i want to be sold out for you ... grr, i am willing to be willing ... but you must make me willing cos i am too tired to press in and to play games - so either u show me who you are or ... you show me who you are! no choice Lord ... this was your bargain with me - that if i come to geylang, you would show yourself to me ... so OPEN MY EYES THAT I MAY SEE ... COS I SURE CANT SEE YOU!

ps i hate playing games so ... plssssss come Lord